So, I decided to keep quiet. By admitting that she has herpes, your partner is showing how considerate and caring she is. Continued Finding Help and Support There are dozens of web sites that provide online support and information for people with herpes. The nurse who examined me revealed that she had herpes and said it was no big deal. I knew enough about sexually transmitted diseases to know that I had herpes , but I didn't know exactly what to do. If you and the girl you are dating have the same strain of herpes, you can't "re-infect" one another because you are both carriers. By the time I finished college in , the possibility of spreading the virus even when you didn't have an outbreak had become more widely accepted by health care providers. HSV-1, more commonly known as "cold sores" or "fever blisters," tend to appear around the lips. In the end, instead of rejecting me, he chose to continue our relationship. Watch a movie, enjoy a nice meal, and cuddle up. It hurt to walk, and I couldn't use soap anywhere near my genital area. Talk to someone who doesn't know her, or someone you know won't repeat your conversation. Condoms help to prevent the transmission of the herpes virus between outbreaks. It was hard enough to face the fact that we'd had sex , or tried to, and it was much harder to cope with the fact that I had caught an incurable sexually transmitted disease. It's very hard to contract this from towels or shared utensils. I met dozens of electronic pen pals and eventually went on several dates.
Avoid sharing glasses, towels, and lip balms in the days during, before, and after an outbreak. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation. Consider calling a hotline, such as Planned Parenthood: Genital herpes may present birth complications for pregnant mothers. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a secret. Knowing which type of herpes virus she has will help you determine what behaviors can lower your risk of disease transmission. He thought about that for a minute and then realized he might not know. What have you done with previous partners to manage the risk of infection? Recurrence of HSV-2 is common. If you and the girl you are dating have the same strain of herpes, you can't "re-infect" one another because you are both carriers. It's very hard to contract this from towels or shared utensils. A search on the Internet for "herpes dating" will turn up several. It might be better to break the news about herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. I told him that to my knowledge I had never spread the virus to anyone else, and that I was very careful. The Diagnosis As I sat in the college health center waiting to see a doctor, I watched my very short-lived social life drift by. How long has it been since your first outbreak? If it's more of a short-term thing, do you still feel comfortable accepting the risk of transmission? At the time, many doctors and other health care providers believed this to be the case, although a number of research studies had already suggested otherwise. For three years, I had a boyfriend who never knew I had herpes. If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. When she is feeling sick from an outbreak, you can still enjoy quality time together. If you are infected in this area,the condition is considered chronic. HSV-2 appears as red or white bumps that may open, ooze, and form ulcers before scabbing and healing. Be sure to respect the privacy of your date. Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes The first date after a genital herpes diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. A friend of mine had recently married a guy she met on the Web -- proving that not every Internet date is a psycho -- so I gave it a try.
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